I appreciate your thoughtful reply, and find much value in it. I came to this therapist for EMDR, as I had read how it could be "Emotional Healing at Warp Speed," and no previous therapy had "targeted" the re-processing of core misconceptions. I located her thru an EMDR web site. I have had reservations about therapy with her, as sessions have been 'lite' and not as 'in depth' as previous experience. i.e. she has not delved into much of my history and difficulties as I anticipated. I reasoned that with EMDR the process would get to the problem so much more quickly, that it may not be necessary to 'report' all the details. AND, for the first time, I feel that I am with a therapist that is dealing with the core problem and not simply with the symptoms. Unfortunately, EMDR deals with inner emotions, and I have inadvertantly - at a very young age - managed to block the greater portion of my emotions. My 'assignment' for this week was to pay attention to any changes in mood, feelings, or emotions, and notice the circumstances & what sensations that I may be feeling in my body along with the feeling. It has been 4 days and there have been no changes in mood/emotion: only the dull ache of depression. There are no highs and no lows. I am like a 'ghost ship,' adrift on a flat calm sea. I have to muster up a 'persona' to be sociable when anyone is around. As soon as they walk away, I 'feel' the tension drop as I let go of the 'mask.' The EMDR sets end with the therapist asking me to express ANYTHING felt or that comes to mind, no matter how ridiculous or absurd or how fleeting. I get NOTHING but a blank mind TRYING to find something to work with. She added BIOENERGETICS breathing exercises in order to relax the body or open up the emotional channels, which also failed to help. Last session she skipped the breathing exercises & did not 'assign' such at-home exercises; which brings me to conclude that they were not producing the expected results, either. My 'sense' was that maybe EMDR would be able to help me. If it cannot (with this therapist), I have little 'sense' that she can help me, as she is in her early 30's and practicing for about 8 years. With all the previous therapists who did not know how to 'treat' my problem, I have little reason to believe that she would, beyond her training in EMDR & BIOENERGETICS (which I understand she is yet to complete). This evening's session will be one to address the sense that she has about my 'progress': has she experienced something like this before? and is she working toward 'qualifying' my 'condition' for a particular approach? OR, has she never encountered such blockage in a client before, and has no other approach remaining?
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