Introducing Shame Language to Clients

In talking with other therapists about using shame concepts with clients, we encounter a problem over and over: clients experience so much shame at awareness of shame that it becomes impossible to talk about it. One therapist from my Tomkins Inst. Study Group started calling shame "Herman" to avoid using the word. I have had some success talking about "feeling bad." Gradually, I introduce the concept of "feeling bad" being a natural, normal response to certain experiences, which I can later define as impediments to positive affect. By this time, it is easier to introduce the term "shame." I have also had success introducing the Compass of Shame as response to feeling bad before introducing the term "shame."

• idiosyncratic affect labels by Don Nathanson, 3/13/96
  • Shame: A Family of Emotions by Vick Kelly, 3/13/96
    • Nakedness and Shame by Jan Braswell, 1/15/97
      • exposure by Don Nathanson, 1/15/97
        • Thanks so much by Jan Braswell, 1/16/97
        • SITUATIONAL SHAME by Phil Feldman, PhD, 3/3/98
          • clear situations generate heathly shame by Cameron fritsch ,student, 8/25/98
  • Crisis by BLynch, 3/4/98
• furthermore, by Don Nathanson, 3/17/96
• A heuristic comment by blynch, 3/20/98
  • Why we call them positive and negative affects by Don Nathanson, 3/20/98
    • (No title) by Rclymer@erols.com, 6/9/98
      • analogues of affect by Don Nathanson, 6/11/98
    • Positive and Negative: a Rose by Any Other Name by Charles G. Yopst, 6/16/98
      • affect vs. script by Don Nathanson, 6/19/98
        • Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall by Charles G. Yopst, 6/22/98
        • Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall by Charles G. Yopst, 6/22/98
          • Where affect fits in psychotherapy by Don Nathanson, 6/25/98
            • Thank You: To Strike a Pose by Chuck Yopst, 6/25/98
        • Shame necessary for negative affect? by (No author), 9/22/98
          • The independence of affective reactions by Don Nathanson, 9/23/98
          • The independence of affective reactions by Don Nathanson, 9/23/98