EMDR FORUM ARCHIVE, 2000
Re:reiki/dissociation?
· 11/12/02 at 5:33 PM ET
I suppose my question occured to me -- about reiki dissolving dissociative barriers, as does emdr -- because I often have intrusive bodily sensations. These are not wholly or simply connected to flashbacks, but come when meditating, doing eft, etc. Many of these experiences have a "spiritual" component, in that I feel "cleansed" afterward -- or, more precisely, possess a sense of "interbeing" afterward. For me, this sense of roto rooting (I prefer "cleansing" -- gentler) is very like the sensation I have when emdr processing generalizing: a sense of light seeping into corners of my body and illuminating all of me. Last week I took an intro to reiki class -- and the teacher did "mini treatments" on all the class members. I ended up with a huge headache, much like when stuck in a loop in emdr. It lasted for days (which does not usually happen with emdr, but then, with emdr, I understand the process of looping and have a therapist to help me out). What struck me is that I was sure, on a body level, that the headache was due to resisting the energy -- the healing. This associated for me to broad problems I have accepting care, calm and nurturing -- or even "seeing" that they are being offered. That tactile, gut sensation of the reiki -- offered and rejected -- "broke" through something in my heart. Perhaps I was just ready for it, nothing happens in a vaccuum, after all... but the reiki was part of the "equation". In any case, this experience changed the way I see my therapist, and other significant individuals in my life. While I could not accept care from others (or "see" it) I was able to observe it as an "universal" presence, as part of reiki. Taken out of the personal into the extrapersonal realm, "care" feels much safer to me. I think this newfound trust will generalize, eventually, to personal relationships... including therapy. I think it will make emdr much easier, since so much of my emdr treatment focuses on internal resources. And if I can model those resources after a life force -- vs neural networks and mood states that are easily reassociated with negativity and perpetrators -- then I suspect therapy will move much more quickly. I hope that makes some sense: I am drawing upon a lot of stuff I have read and thought and without citing it, or a longer explanation, the links I am making may not be apparent. And I have rambled long enough... :) A last note: I discussed with the reiki master possibly doing a treatment with her. I brought up my trauma history specifically -- I don't think it surprised her, given my reaction to the reiki, but that went unspoken. My point is, since I know lots of people read here, that the "right" reiki practitioner would seem to me to be as important as the "right" therapist. The lady I am speaking of spends most of her time teaching and sits on the state board of reiki practitioners. While these attributes don't guarantee ethics or expertise, they at least point in the right direction... Guess I am just suggesting: be careful!
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