Whiteboard economics and therapist inadequacy

• Shame and offender therapy by Rich Kuyper, 1/3/97
  • Shame--Intimacy--Attack Other by Vick Kelly, 1/15/97
    
    

Vick, Your advice re: an addendum to my whiteboard talk is well taken. To be honest, I have so far delayed a discussion, in my groups, of shame as an impediment to interest-excitement or enjoyment-joy out of concern that I could not adequately convey the concepts of affects, impediments etc. with sufficient clarity and economy to ‘hold’ my audience. I have simply defined shame, perhaps contra doctrine, as the experience of being diminished or demeaned; this has not seemed to limit the usefulness of the compass.

This approach has, no doubt, been a consequence of my own limitations moreso than any limitation inherent in the makeup of the groups. I consistently find that when group members fail to grasp something I am keen to communicate, it is as likely due to my own muddled presentation as to any other cause. Nevertheless, I do have to keep in mind the demographics of my groups and I think it fair to say that the high school dropouts far out number the college graduates. I appreciate the distillation of Tomkins’ work done by you and Don which has made his ideas accessible to me and others. I am inclined to believe a further distillation may be in order if mandated DV offenders are to get maximum benefit from these concepts. If you and Don ever want to collaborate on “Shame-Focused Therapy for Men Who Batter”...

Your post illustrates the price I have paid in leaving out the concept of shame as impediment since, in so doing, I may have also blurred “the good scene nearby”. Many thanks to you and Don for the continuing inspiration. Back to the whiteboard!

• Initial difficulty of Tomkins's concept of Shame by Vick Kelly, 1/19/97
  • One piece at a time... by Rich Kuyper, 1/20/97
    • Perfect by Don Nathanson, 1/20/97
    • Yes, Yes, Yes, And... by Vick Kelly, 1/20/97
      • Thanks, and...Offender therapy cont... by Rich Kuyper, 1/22/97