DV Offenders, Victims, Sex offenders

• Affects as impediments to affects by Rich Kuyper, 1/6/97
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    • Shame and offender therapy by Margaret Blakely, 1/8/97
      
      

Thank you, Margaret, for the positive feedback and for joining the conversation. As you are working with victims, I might recommend a book which I have found to be useful in understanding and treating that most vexing phenomenon, the battered woman who relentlessly returns to her abuser--The Illusion of Love-Why the Battered Woman Returns to Her Abuser, By David Celani. He is a Vermont psychotherapist whose answer to his own titular question has to do with attachment theory and (I hope I am not doing him an injustice here)can be boiled down to--the fear of abandonment is more cogent than the fear of abuse. Of course, there is an ideological position that even raising the question of ‘why she doesn’t leave’ is a victim-blaming distraction. If one is actually treating victims, however, the limitations of ideology become readily apparent.... I believe (I’m willing to be wrong here) Celani’s conceptualization of the borderline victim paired with the narcissistic offender is roughly analogous to Dr. Nathanson’s own compass of shame match-made-in-hell---the attack-self victim paired with the attack-other offender. These tremendously dysfunctional yet frustratingly ‘stable’ relationships present a constant challenge to those of us working with these populations. As Don has suggested, it is critical that those of us who can make a difference do not subordinate our clinical and common sense to ideological non-sense. Re: sex offenders... My experience with this population is essentially limited to the dual offenders (domestic violence/sex offence) who are mandated to my DV groups. I have not worked with sex offenders in my private practice. Much of the published work on sex offenders emphasizes the fact that they are less tractable to treatment than other types of offenders and anyone who can consistently demonstrate otherwise will certainly have my attention! Certainly, shame focused therapy would have to be at the center of any treatment protocol here, wouldn’t it? I’d be interested in having you share any of your own insights, Margaret. And Don?

• DV Offenders, Victims, etc. by Margaret Blakely, 1/12/97
  • Offenders, shame awareness etc. by Rich Kuyper, 1/13/97
    • Shame Awareness by Margaret Blakely, 1/16/97
      • Question from a Unicorn by Elizabeth Ferrari, 1/19/99