Question from a Unicorn

• Affects as impediments to affects by Rich Kuyper, 1/6/97
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    • Shame Awareness by Margaret Blakely, 1/16/97
      
      

My husband is an acting out, low functioning borderline (today) and as I read your discussion of DV I thought, it is somewhat more abstracted than may be useful to clinicians. I'm not one, btw. Every attempt I made to keep his obvious illness in the medical arena was obstructed by societal prejudice -- "he weighs 300 lbs, he's a BATTERER!"

My husband has been violent, and the underlying reason makes no difference to my body. But, each & every episode, he was in the zone. I've learned to keep myself safely but the attitude "out there" remains. Once in despair, I called a hotline. The volunteer said "Violence? That has nothing to do with BPD: half of the men we process are BPD."

I know my husband's self is organized around shame. I need my community to know it, too.

Thanks for your good work!

Beth Ferrari

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