EMDR FORUM ARCHIVE, 2000
Re:EMDR and Boundaries
Carol Ann Rowland, MSW, RSW · 04/19/04 at 9:09 PM ET
Hi Mary, Have you tried talking to her about how you feel it is "devoid of human contact"? Sometimes verbalizing exactly why you feel that way can help. Did you feel the same way prior to starting EMDR with her? Sometimes it can be hard to adjust to at first because it feels very different from doing talk therapy - much less talking, etc... and so you may feel less connected to her during the EMDR than you had before. I do think that when you are used to doing talk therapy on an ongoing basis with a therapist, to then suddenly be doing EMDR which tends to involve a lot less talking, can feel a little jarring. From her perspective, she may feel just as connected to you as she did before - while you are listening to the tones or doing the eye movements she is likely thinking about what is coming up for you, and how to approach things. Therefore, she may feel very intensely focussed on you, but you may feel a disconnect because the focus is less verbal than before. It may help to talk it out (or do EMDR on the feelings :))or it may be that as you get used to the change in how sessions are done, it feels ok - I find that often clients come to prefer the EMDR sessions once they are used to them, because they tend to feel so much better afterwards and get to like that feeling. Or, you may need to come up with something (like the hug if comfortable for both of you) that helps you to "get" that she is still with you and still connected. It may also be helpful if time, agency guidelines and/or finances allow, to plan to spend most of the session doing EMDR but reserve an agreed upon length of time at the end to talk a bit before leaving. Good luck - hope it goes well.
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