Re:EMDR and Boundaries

Another thing. Very often when processing a memory, there are feelings that come up. Sometimes the clients may be aware that the feelings are associated with the memory, and sometimes the awareness of THAT feeling being associated with THAT memory may be delayed. In that case, the client may naturally assume that the feelings are a response to something in present time, like the fact that the therapist just did or didn't do something.

Example: Client is processing a molest memory with EMDR. All her life, the client has seen herself and her mother as the victims of the father's abuse. In the processing, one feeling that spontaneously emerges is awareness and hurt regarding the fact that the mother did not protect the girl from the father molestation. This pulls up anger, but the client isn't prepared to own that anger, because she'd have to see her mother, her only loving parent, as more than a victim in the situation. The EMDR processing stops on this blockage. The feeling has to go somewhere, so it attaches to the therapist who at that moment was taking a sip from her cup of tea. The client feels angry at the therapist for her insensitivity by taking a sip of tea right at that moment in the EMDR. The client, fortunately, tells the therapist about this feeling. The therapist says, "is that a new feeling that just started here today? or an ooolllld faammmiillliar feeling?" The client reflects and recognizes that she'd often felt her mother wasn't listening or nurturing her. She weeps, and the therapist says, "just notice it." The EMDR processing resumes and completes successfully, with the client now understanding the childhood situation and dynamics in a new light.

Replies:

Re:EMDR and Boundaries , by Mary, 04/20/04 Re:EMDR and Boundaries , by Sandra Paulsen PhD, 04/20/04

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