Re:Feelings with no memories

Therapy, especially traditional talk therapy, unleashes so much rage in me that I have difficulty containing it. The rage simply escalates after I leave a session and continues to grow to an intolerable level over the course of therapy. Prior to my EMDR therapist, I sought treatment from a female psychologist for over a year. She recently terminated my treatment because she said she did not feel safe with me -- I have great hatred toward women. I'm not proud of that but it is a fact of my life.

During therapy with her she encouraged me to get in touch with long buried emotions. That process only enraged me further and my emotional and psychological state steadily destabilized while in therapy with her. I begged her to not stir up so much trauma only to then send me on my way each week. I would leave her office feeling stunned and filled with fury. I needed help to contain that rage but talk therapy only stoked the fire. I kept telling her that talk therapy was causing me serious damage but she persisted. I am far worse now than when I initially saw her over a year ago.

So I turned to EMDR. Thus far I have experienced no benefits (I have undergone two sessions of EMDR). The rage and depression are nearly out of control and my obsessive thoughts about harming myself and others have intensified. I was hoping EMDR was going to save me since everything else has failed. After twenty years of therapy, meds, hospitalizations, and simply trying to pick myself up by the bootstraps, I fear I am hopeless.

Replies:

Re:Feelings with no memories, by Sandra Paulsen PhD, 12/02/03 Re:Feelings with no memories, by Brian, 12/02/03 Re:Feelings with no memories, by Sandra Paulsen PhD, 12/02/03 emdr and depression, by ls, 12/02/03 Re:emdr and depression, by Sandra Paulsen PhD, 12/02/03

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