EMDR FORUM ARCHIVE, 2000
Re:Dissassociate....and others
Just Me · 09/01/03 at 7:26 ET
A clear sky after the storm is a perfect way to put it. That is exactly what it feels like only it is not just calm. It is excitement, joy and most definitely a blessing.
Although I am very afraid of doing another EMDR session because of the bad things I experience afterwards. I am excited to see just how much more healing and joy I will find after the next storm.
Thank you for recommendation on the book. I will likely talk to my therapist about it first. She has not diagnosed me with it in so many words, but has defined the word itself to me as to how I react to things. The way that Dr. Paulsen explained it is perfect. “EMDR for dissociative identity disorder is very complicated. Yes, it tends to trigger switching....for a number of reasons. One - switching is a defense against experiencing emotions. The person has to be okay with experiencing emotions to begin with.”
Even with being “okay” with experiencing emotions, it is extremely difficult to allow yourself to do so. I am very fortunate in that my therapist knows exactly what to say to bring me to the point where I can. I had done a lot of writing about my past. I had also written a paper on influences in my life and have also begun to journal again on my own and have shared all of this with my therapist. I am not able to speak about any of my experiences at all out loud, but through my writing she learns a lot about me. This helps tremendously not just with regular sessions, but especially with EMDR.
Today I am just going to enjoy the wonderful effects of EMDR. I am aware that I will probably fall again, but I am learning how to pick myself back up afterwards. Not by separating myself from all emotions, but instead confronting them.
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