Re:Dissassociate....and others

Hi,

At the time that I tried EMDR initially, it was a little too much for my defenses I remain a true believer in the concept and will one day try again. I am now well on my way to healing. I do however visit this site quite often for updates regarding EMDR. I could not help but reply to this discussion regarding this topic. I have used dissociation all my life as a way to cope. I never learned other coping mechanisms. I was raised in an enviornment that prohibited professional help in any way. We were isolated physically and emotionally. Abuse in all forms was the norm in our home. I look at dissocation as my internal "Valium". I cannot take those type of anti-anxiety meds due to a history of substance abuse. So, I rely on my own defenses to help me when it gets overwhelming. As long as I am still able to function and am causing no harm, then I view my dissociation as harmless. In time, I feel that it will become less and less as I heal. Untill that time I am grateful now that I have become aware of what is going on with me, that I have this ability to sort of mentally check out when it gets too hard. At one time, I tried to let some tell me that it was a bad thing, that I had to be cured. Then I met a wonderful therapist who explained to me that my body has devised a wonderful system of checks and balances to sort of help me cope with trauma, and even though the trauma of my childhood has ended, I still can be triggered back to those times even as an adult. I think that it is a very slow process, and with the help of professionals we can regain our lives. I wish you both well.

Again, this in no way is meant to be endorsing dissociation. I just could not help myself.

Peace to you,
Lil

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