Am I desperate, well sorta. Deal is it seems to me that we are at a point where we know a hell of a lot but got a long way to go. I have a borderline wife. I love her dearly. Situation is I am very much struggling in my Family Practice. Have done tons of research on her condition. Know they are extremely difficult and know there is no real “moral” problem. It is based in biology and the affects of abuse on that biology. I do not want to abandon her and almost cannot for that very reason. I have often made the analogy that if she had an MI would I walk away? but few understand that but ,I trust I would find a sympathetic ear here. I have set limits, very consistent and firm ones but I am a person that wants to know the mechanism and do not have all that much time to “study” enough to get it all “right” and apply it. Anyone out there willing to help a little? I am not trying to be her therapist but realize there are not many people out there capable of doing much good, or that is there are a lot that aren’ t capable . I can’t offer much right now but I don’t think it is a big deal and I am a fairly quick study. On the other hand maybe I have a lot to offer, a professional view point that you might have a very hard time getting from your one on one or couples work. Aside form anything else I told her : “ look you know me(someone that has enough sense to know there is a problem and I should not just kick you out on the street),. your in one of the greatest cities in the world and psychiatry is in a very exciting time what more do you want.?” To me it would be a true tragedy if this where not a success story. Any takers? All I am looking for is someone that can apply affect theory in a consistent way and give me a few suggestions about how much contact I should have, how do I handle her defenses? etc. It does seem to me a very powerful theory. Hey if you don’t ask...?
By the way I just had an interesting thought that this idea of shame being biological based and the implications concerning resistance to treatment and the concept of antonym are tremendous.
b3393@aol.com Hey thanks