Thanks for the thought. I have read "I hate you Don't leave Me" but a more recent better one is "Lost in the Mirror". Anyway this theory helps more then anything the more I understand it. I have been pretty good with the roller coaster. I guess that is why we are not together, she withdrew. I guess it is just a process of trying and trying and trying. This does give some leverage if they will listen in that maybe a biological explanation to their anguish will be more acceptable, again any simple stright forward ideas? For example the "Herman" idea, replacing it for the word shame was good. Thanks again.