Chauncey, I Love the Work You Do

• Responses to First Learning about Affect Theory by Jim Duffy a.k.a. J.C.D., 2/28/97
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    • Men and Shame....Enormous Issue Now Faced Directly by Jim! Thank you! by c.h., 3/28/97
      
      

Chauncey, it has been wonderful meeting you like this on this forum. I was afraid my posting could be problematic for this forum, for the subject of male shame is, as you apparently know so very well, enormously vast, quite anguishing, and not as frequently a topic for serious, problem-solving exploration as we both wish it were. Once one begins to look at it directly and factually, it is a very deep well of dark shame and anger--and denial of both of these. My affective experience when dealing with this subject is anger mixed with fear, horror, shame, and much sadness.

Words abandon me when I want to tell someone like you--who refused to abuse subordinates and has made it your dedication to act as a social-change agent to remedy work abuse--or someone like Rich--who tires to understand sympathetically the torment of abusers trying to understand themselves--how much I admire what you have done and are doing. So, I will simply say I admire you and Rich very much. Great work.

Reinhold Niiebuhr's reminding us that the social changes we aspire to are not to be completely achieved in our lifetime, not to make complete sense in the present historical context, and not to be achieved alone helps me calm down when my affective involvement in these matters becomes too distressing. Niebuhr's reminding us to keep faith in our cause, hope for the future, and love for fellow change-agents is priceless counsel for me.

Would there be any chance of getting a copy somehow of the paper you and Judy Wyatt did titled The Space Between Us is Shame? It sounds teriffic.

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