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• Reintegrative shaming praised by Rich Kuyper, 1/30/97
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    • Go Get 'Em Margaret by Vick Kelly, 2/4/97
      
      

Thanks, Vick...and everyone else...for your comments. I really wasn't thinking of using positive reinforcers for motivation in this evaluation orgy. What I really want to do is to let my staff know how very much I appreciate each one of them for their uniqueness. I want to eliminate the whole spectrum of shame/pride that is generated EXTERNALLY.

Maybe that is an impossible goal, but it seems to me that in our world where everyone has to look for approval and/or run from disapproval, that what is needed is for each one of us to appreciate our own uniqueness and to follow our own drummer. What I have found is that INTERNAL motivation seems to result from this basic atmosphere in my department. I am really not trying to motivate anyone...just to appreciate them and support them for who they are. The rest just happens.

As far as the DV folks (both sides) are concerned...I heartily agree with you, Rich. I have believed for many years that they basically come from the same place---each has been shamed and the result ends up being either one end of the spectrum or the other. Offenders need the same respect and appreciation for their (soul? --- for want of a better word) as do victims. That is the thing that has been assaulted and shamed in the first place. When we throw them into the horrible existence inside prisons, what can we expect? Just more of the same.

I used to work for a woman who so thoroughly disagreed with this concept that she did not want me to work with abused children because I didn't hate the perps enough. What she did not understand (and still doesn't) is that hating and shaming the perp is not going to help anyone. Naturally we have to see to it that the behavior doesn't happen anymore. But I think the best route to that is to respect and value him (or her) and to help them deeply understand the shaming that they themselves have experienced. Comments anyone?

• Response to work stress by by Diane VanCleave, 8/12/98