Shame and Domestic Violence

• Shame and Domestic Violence by Rich Kuyper, 12/22/96
  • Shame and Domestic Violence by Don Nathanson, 12/22/96
    
    

I'm working with a man right now who's children have been removed because of his violence. We are looking very closely at each violent event, identifying and naming each feeling, and tracing it back to the underlying shame affect which, of course, is ALWAYS there. He is fascinated with the understanding that his violence is a response to SHAME rather than to a legitimate response to someone else's stupidity. He is learning to (sometimes) pause long enough to identify and feel the shame before he moves into "attack other." He's encouraged and so am I.

Don, I don't work with sexual perpetrators (knowingly), but do you think there is any hope here for them?

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