I am going to first say that you and you wife need to be evaluated and treated by two therapists to make sure all appropriate aspects of symptoms and their causes have been assessed and an appropriate treatment plan formulated. That therapist might be an EMDR therapist, since EMDR can be effective treating trauma related conditions, whether from assaults, car accidents or other losses such as divorces. See emdria.org or emdr.com for referrals to therapists in your area.
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