Re:Important addendum

We may never know for sure why things like spasm or particular emotions or obsessions are so persistent, or why they are triggered in EMDR. Sometimes a little gentke inquiry inside can reveal the associations and sometimes it can't.

I don't know about your case in particular, but in general, sometimes persistent obsessions about people can be about unmet early nurturing needs. There are EMDR protocols on point for that including Landry Wildwind's work from the early 90s on EMDR and anaclitic depression as well as April Steele's Imaginal Nurturing work. I prefer a kind of imaginal reparenting where the person experiences imaginally what they wanted from an improved internal parent (Wildwind's model) because its so viscerally comforts people on this deep emotional level. When lousy things happen in the first five years of life (and they may or may not have in your case - I don't know), they may not be accessible to memory, and may be preverbal. But if we address them by meeting unmet needs it can be a powerfully resourcing experience.

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