I was the one who mentioned healing invalidating abuse. I think I have been misunderstood. That invalidation is not a reason (for me) to not heal, it is simply something I am aware of. I have no contact with my family of origin. Often I am put in the position of "oh, you are so "normal", how could you have had a childhood like that?" Or "oh, you are so successful, your parents must have done a lot right" I meant healing invalidated abuse from a societal perspective, not a personal one. On the same line of thought, I am often expected to be irrevocably "broken" because of my child's death. My healing does not invalidate my abuse or my loss, it is a "triumph", as Dr. Inobe put it. But I go into healing knowing full well that in some people's eyes my healing DOES invalidate my assertions of childhood trauma, and that it will be seen as some sort of invalidation of my child's life. (Mostly I try to avoid such thinking, by avoiding people who think in these ways, but avoiding them does not invalidate their existence, either.) This is the way the world works, I was only pointing it out, not agreeing with it, or using it as a rationale not to heal.
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