I find that amazement is often expressed at my level of functioning given my level of trauma. So far, it has been done by therapists or friends w/ a sense of awe rather than disbelief, but I know that even so the odd time in the back of my mind I wonder if they believe me - even though I know that they do. With my family, they have used my high level of functioning to assure themselves that although they know they abused me they "must've done something right" for me to have turned out as I have. I told my mother "I am this way in spite of - not because of - anything you did".
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