Thanks to both of you. I actually kind of moved into anger with this, which has been good as it's helped me to feel motivated and like I can do more about this than just accepting it as my problem. I've advocated for myself at work successfully so that they will now fund some of the treatment I've been getting to deal with the VT I'm in the process of starting a peer support/consultation/advocacy network for professionals strugging with VT. This is an inevitable part of working somewhere with an exclusive trauma focus. However, some are able to transform the VT into something useful, and I am hoping to do the same. I may in the end choose to leave at some point. But, if possible, I'd like to leave by choice and not because I have to. So much of my work involves helping others to overcome their trauma stuff so they can live their lives the way they want to -- so I will do the same, in much the same way that I have done with my personal trauma stuff. Of course between my therapist, my supervisors, and myself, things are being closely monitored and if it appears that it is getting too hard or too much then I will look at another break or at leaving entirely, and I agree it isn't running away necessarily - it can be making a very good choice for myself, and is one that I may in the end make, but given that I do love this work and feel very committed to it, and also know that I would still be doing trauma work elsewhere, I'd like to persist with it until I feel I have conquered it as much as is possible - and if I still feel would prefer to work somewhere with more balance re. caseload, then will do that.
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