I am not sure that I got your message right but what I heard when I read your post was that I say a I am in manic stage so i don't have to feel the shame of my actions. If this is what you are saying I highly disagree,,I work so hard to not be hypo-manic and when a time comes when my disease gets the best of me I fell great shame. I feel I am a strong person and want to control everything especially this disease..which I believe most times I can with meds and deep breathes but not always. I really se that as an insult to all of us BP's