An idea at your request

• When shame is the rule... by Lia Ades, 2/6/99
  
  

Not only is shame ubiquitous in our society, but it is also the most unrecognized and most misunderstood affect of all. It is frequently misused in most hierarchical systems and its pathological management is emphasized in our media through the glorification of machismo scripts. This is because it is the subtlest of all the affects and in most cases can only be recognized by the trained observer as it manifests indirectly with the Compass of Shame. Nowhere is the underlying affect of shame more confused with the defensive affect of anger than in the fields of psychology. The same could be said for the other points of the Compass of Shame. The problem is exacerbated because we are taught as a society to be ashamed of shame. Instead of seeking out and minimizing the impediment to positive affect, we are taught to blame others or ourselves.

Let me illustrate how subtle the affect of shame can be. I will describe an example of shame affect that we rarely recognize as such and, in fact, never even requires the utilization of the Compass of Shame (except in certain types of OCD?). Let us say that you are interested in a particular problem and begin focused attention and thinking about that particular problem, which we will call problem A. All of a sudden, out of the blue, a completely unrelated thought pops into your head that interferes with your thinking and focused attention on problem A. If this second, unrelated thought holds interest, then you are in the midst of a interruption to sustained previously interesting activity and shame affect is therefore triggered. You will notice feeling suddenly dazed, which is the cognitive shock component of that affect. Unless you choose to pursue one direction of thought over the other, this mild shame affect will continue. Because there is no cultural or social learning involved in the management of shame under these circumstances, we rapidly focus on the impediment and minimize that impediment by choosing a single direction to go with our thoughts. If only dealing with the myriad of other types of shame we encounter in our lives were this easy!

Jonathan L. Grindlinger, M.D. Training Director

• Thanks for your answer! by Lia Ades, 2/18/99