And another thing...Careful Dr. N.

• Lost my post. Advice please. by Rich Kuyper, 12/26/96
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    • And another thing. . . by Don Nathanson, 12/29/96
      
      

"There is a world of difference between saying that the victim is to blame for her/his destruction, and taking the position that the victim's ignorance of shame psychology must always trigger violence in the offender."

Although I think I agree with most of what I think you're trying to say (how is that for ambivalence :-), I can't quite agree with it as written. We may though, in my opinion, conclude from our understanding of the couple's historical interactions, that the victim's beliefs, attitudes and behaviors (including her ignorance of shame psychology!) put her at high risk for further abuse. Even my watered down version is generally rejected as victim blaming. I'm afraid, Dr. Nathanson, that your version places you squarely in the "abusers' lobby"...from which few have been known to return :-).

• being real by Don Nathanson, 1/2/97
  • Response to being real by Rich Kuyper, 1/2/97