child play or sexual abuse?

I have a patient, age 12, accused of sexual abuse with a 4 yr old female "step-cousin" As far as I can determine it was age appropriate sexual play/curiousity/experimentation. There was no penetration. The girl was NOT examined. Her mother is angry but no charges filed. The incident has been turned into the sheriff by his parents to "protect" him, they thought at the time. and now it's in hands of local social services who are archaic in their power struggles to save the world. Pt is slight build, appears to be pre-pubertal, physically immature for age. Now that it is a legal issue he has probs at school and lies to his step-mom. Any suggestions for psychotherapy w/o traumatizing the child? His real mom deserted him 2 times and her 2nd husb committed suicide. He is confused, naive and needs my help in the best way I can administer it. Ideas? Thanks, Thom

• Consequences of inappropriate accusation by Marty Klein, Ph.D, 3/6/99
• sibling incest by (No author), 4/19/99
• incest by (No author), 4/19/99