Deception, Mood Switching, & Bipolar Courting

• Manic Traits: An EP/SB Description by James Brody, 4/5/97
  
  

Both mania and bipolar disorder are defined by highly distressing, disruptive social behaviors. There are statistical links with increased substance abuse, physical abuse, oppositional behavior, and certain types of conduct disorder. None of these things reach the Symons-Buss Top 10 reasons for attraction. Why marry such a person? Indeed, manics can be so extremely annoying that they should have gone extinct either for lack of partners or because of being killed before mating.

Some of the possibilities may include:

1) The Cuckoo Bird Option: Manics are often sexually driven. Thus, they could propagate by making a good first impression (lively and entertaining) on a prospective mother who's single or married to someone else and leaving a child in her. This scenario has similarities to r-Selection personalities that breed freely but offer little parental guidance to their offspring.

2) Most mania is of later onset, after mate-selection has occurred: The syndrome mimics other disorders that exert no selective pressures because they begin after mating and after children are produced (the Medawar Effect). However, Faedda et al. (1995) document the prevalence of prepubertal bipolar disorder as well as sharing data that most adult onset cases were symptomatic before age 21. The earlier the onset, the more severe the expression and the greater the incidence of familial bipolar disorder. No surprise except that bipolar teens (who should be easily recognized and avoided in the mating contest) form destructively intense pairs. It may be that they are more efficient in recruiting enablers (who carry manic traits) or bipolar mates ("Everyone else is boring; I'm not sure you're tough enough for me, etc.")

3) Manic traits have survival value: Subclinical mania and alpha status appear to share many features. Domineering behavior, greater sexual interest, and lively personal styles sometimes are markers for greater social persistence. Toddler manics often have tantrums; older ones have feuds. Churchill, Teddy Roosevelt, Nietzsche, and most prominent individuals show evidence of mania. Sulloway's "Born to Rebel" is as much a tribute to mania as it is to Darwin and to familial rebellion. We might expect manics not only to consume resources but also to generate them, albeit at other's expense.

5) Mania is associated with heightened manipulation and lying. Wright (1994) comments that deception is an old tactic in courtship. Manics may well use more of it in order to get their way. This is especially likely given that many of them intensely dislike public embarrassment, even as small children. Thus, the phenomenon of civility when at a social function and tirades in the car going home.

In any event, there ought to be some mechanism for abating the severity of manic traits during courtship so that likely partners are enchanted rather than frightened. One possibility is that courtship is, itself, an antidepressant, a mood elevator. Beck (1988) described the similarity of "Being in Love" with elation and euphoria and how the quality of the experience approaches the status of a disorder. The partner is idealized and there is great peace and joy simply being near them. Irritability, criticism, domineering styles, and a drive to accomplish work are abated. Friends may encourage the prospective spouse. "He's so different since you came along" sounds like a symptom of a bipolar switch. Tired mothers are apt to regain hope of escaping the advocacy and defending roles that go with rearing an active, manic child. Courtship is the chance for anxious mom to unload a difficult kid without feeling guilty. Betty will care for him. (pay his bills, intercede with the police, sober him, and "make him responsible." Betty, unfortunately, will miss a warning glimpse of her future unless she does a family screen for bipolar disorder. Or, Betty will be a touch grandiose and think, "I know I can make him behave when no one else can." Once married, the infatuation fades, irritability recurs, and Betty retorts, "You're acting just like your father!" Betty also blames herself that he's acting as he used to do; because she once changed his behavior, she must be responsible if he erodes.

Solutions have evolutionary age. Enablers often have a manic in their parentage. (In the Linkage Disequilibrium model, the enablers are attracted to mania because of carrying identical traits themselves even if unexpressed phenotypically.) Push and abuse an enabler sufficiently and break a manic forth ... a nasty, vindictive, spiteful individual (who feels guilty for acting like one of their parents). Use a pinch of Zoloft to reduce guilt, do some assertion training, and watch the dragon hatch. When the despot finds his bags on the step, there is some higher chance they will lose weight, stop sleeping but start nightmares, stay out of tap rooms, and go to psychologists. I would almost bet Gil Levin that these shaken manics also had early, substantial separation anxiety.

Martha has a manic husband and is to the point of leaving him. She's started Zoloft to cut her guilt. I outlined the last few points with Martha and she responded, "That's absolutely true." She's very bright and very seasoned; it must be true if she believes it.

REFERENCES:

Beck A (1988) Love is never enough. NY: Harper & Row.

Faedda G, Baldessarini R, Suppes T, Tondo L, Becker I, & Lipschitz D (1995) Pediatric-onset bipolar disorder: A neglected clinical and public health problem. Harvard Review of Psychiatry, 3(4), 171-195.

Wright R. The moral animal. NY: Pantheon.

• Eureka, Another Reason for Enablers by James Brody, 4/9/98
  • He Reacted Like An Abandoned Cat by Euterpe, 4/10/98
• Published: Bipolar Courting by James Brody, 7/14/98