He Reacted Like An Abandoned Cat

    Evolutionary Psychology (Brody)
    • Manic Traits: An EP/SB Description by James Brody, 4/5/97
      • Deception, Mood Switching, & Bipolar Courting by James Brody, 8/9/97
        • Eureka, Another Reason for Enablers by James Brody, 4/9/98

    He Reacted Like An Abandoned Cat
    by Euterpe, 4/10/98

    This post describes quite accurately what happened to me and my marriage.

    I was an enabler, but not of an physically abusive husband, not of an alcoholic or drug addict, not any of these bad things. I was an enabler of a man addicted to adolescence. I forgave his adolescent behavior so many times that I came to expect the behavior and became numb to it.

    No one ever said to me, "You don't have to put up with that behavior."

    Instead they said, "It's not so bad. He could be an alcoholic."

    Several times I thought that it was that bad, but I felt guilty about abandoning him. It wasn't until l began feeling like a desiccated carcass that I decided I needed to live life, instead of marking time. I was a failure as his parent and had to face that fact if my life was to have any meaning.

    He reacted like an abandoned cat. "Where am I going to go? What am I going to do?"

    Although I felt awful, I knew I couldn't help him. I had tried for 31 years and had been unsuccessful. I needed to remake me. As it turned out, I probably should or could have left sooner because he has been able to take care of himself, possibly because he must. I am concerned though that when his money runs out, he will be knocking on my door, but I have steeled myself to enable no more.


              No Replies
    [Prev] [Up] [Next]
    [Reply] [Home] [Help]