Barbara,
I'm interested how you and many others I talk to seem to understand or define therapeutic alliance from a relationship perspective. While this is one dimension, partcularly within the psychoanalytic literature, scales such as the Working Alliance Inventory describe Bond (relationship), Task and Goal components. In the research I am doing, therapeutic approaches which focus primarily on the relationship do not rate as highly on therapeutic alliance as compared to those which also work with the person on setting goals and defining tasks to achieve these goals.
I believe the important aspect of therapeutic alliance as a mediating variable in counselling, therapy and all other forms of health care is the process of working together as opposed to "doing to". I sense you are agreeing with this in your post and you might like to read some of the responses on this topic at the Cognitive Therapy Forum here at Behavior OnLine.
Brian