Variety As the Spice of Life

• Tell me, why - why does it happen? by Tatiana Matveeva (Inity), 2/23/99
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    • the addictive lifestyle by John, 2/26/99
      
      

Hi Tatiana--

I think John has responded to your question a few different times. I pretty much agree with what he has said. My experience with the internet has been much less intense than yours, even though my introduction to it was through an AOL interfaith chat room called The Front Porch. After I learned the ropes a bit (learning how to participate), and began to feel like a full fledged member of the group, I remember feeling real excitement and novelty about the whole thing. It's fun to meet new people, and even more fun when some of the interpersonal pressures of face to face communication are taken away. Did I feel a growing sense of "addiction". Well, yes, if you call really looking forward to something being addiction and spending an increasing amount of time doing it. But I'm an explorer, and I also wanted to see what the internet could offer on a professional level (as a psychologist), and this opened up a whole new domain of exploration for me, so my interest in the chat room diminished. I tend to be intellectual in my pursuits, and I'm not really interested in finding soul mates on the web, or discovering some "new age" poetic truth about the universe!! I think talking to people with whom you share similar interests can also be an exciting experience. But, as John said, nothing can really replace the experience of face to face and nonverbal communication. I would also add, that the degree of concern you have about this, does make it a problem. Variety is the spice of life, and maybe it is important to keep that in mind!!

Anytime anything represents an escape from real world 'goings on' , that's a problem. Almost without exception, too much of even a good thing is not good!!! The internet I think is a good thing. Forgive the analogy, but the internet can also become something akin to a masturbatory experience, since it is so easy to make it a very self-focused experience. Yes, it's involving other people, but it's your brain that is forced to perceive so much about the other person when you can't see them--it is this construction of the other person in your head that becomes the intensely self focused part (ugh! I fear this isn't too clear!!! I'll try to reexplain late!!). I'm afraid this whole post may be a bit unclear. Well...now I'll find out. Obviously, these are just my opinions, so my intention is not to preach or to say 'this is how it is period'.

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