John

• Hi there lurkers! by John Suler, 7/26/97
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    • Managing to manage the unmanagable. by kreative_minds, 10/5/98
      
      

>>I simply sit and observe the abuser, for a short time and then pose the question, "Who angered you?" Thereby siding with this individual to gain his/her trust.The verbal abuse usually continues, even in his/her reply to me, however after chatting for a while and using gentle words, I sway this individual to leave the one he was abusing and I probe into this persons mind. I ask many different questions, beginning with the most simple to very direct.<<

Nice approach! The first part reminds me of the "joining and leading" technique used in Martial Arts like Aikido.... I've found that if you can get the person to talk about their "real" life and identity, that goes a long way in civilizing them.... it makes them feel more "real" (important) and less anonymous (a "nobody").

• reversed subject and name by John, 10/5/98
  • John, be thankful you're human by kreative_minds, 10/5/98
• I'm sorry, what is your name? by kreative_minds, 10/5/98