EMDR FORUM ARCHIVE, 2000
Comments on this board
Katieshouse · 03/05/04 at 10:30 PM ET
Hi -- I so very glad to find this board. I found it quite by accident after my therapist of only a few weeks suggested EMDR. There are concerns, for her and Katieshouse. I don't think she's had a lot of experience with someone DID (Katieshouse) and EMDR. She suggested we read Shapiro's Breakthrough and of course, it set Researcher off on a quest. We've spend hours reading over some of the post here on different threads. I am intriggered. Some inside Katieshouse are experiencing great anxiety just having it suggested. We have worked INTENSELY for over three years with a therapist who is moving. we have been devastated by this and sought "backup" when we bottomed out and almost committed a fatal error. We have worked with our former therapist (who is also reading, researching and will be meeting with the new therapist) weekly for three years, which included DAILY conversations (somes 2-5 times a day), at least three hour sessions weekly. Numerous weekends and even a week long excursion in which we processed and "played". We have formed a very very close relationship which I believe has allowed us to open many doors and find the Lost Children. We feel very close to integration which has been "my" goal from the beginning. I have felt almost driven to find Truth in the inward parts, believing this has been a God directed process. Now that we have experienced and reprocessed hundreds and more trauma events that contributed to the DID -- starting before 2 yrs...and escalating with the "act" of being raped by age of 8 by the father, I just wonder what value would you see in now trying EMDR. Will we go through some of those same experiences again .. perhaps from another vantage point? I've done a lot of work on my own through the years..when T wasn't available and something triggered or we had a flashback. We did not always come through without some consequences (SA). I was also exposed to considerable, deliberate, programming .... and somewhere inside it feels like this EMDR is a lot like that and hypnosis, though we read it isn't the same. How do we overcome such a fear of being at someone's mercy again..or does that come only with time and relationship. I could ask a million questions and think this through out loud, but, I won't. I am very interested and in some ways feel "pushed" to do this especially with my former T soon to be moving. I'd like to be "fully integrated" before she leaves but -- there's the lesson learned over and over, anything that seems to good to be true, probably is and there is no "quick" fix. That's relative, too. I don't know many people who have worked so intensely for three solid years with literally thousands of hours -- so in that respect it's not "quick" and where some therapies last 8-10-12 plus years, we've condensed that to three....lots of issues, lots of alters, lots of integration but now..we're right at this pivotal crossroad of some sort that feels we can't go forward (resistance?? barrier? Protectors? programming?) I want to do something but I don't want to "rush" into anything or go someplace that might "undo" anything we've done..as just the general "work" of EMDR seems triggering. With that, I will close. Thank all of you for your input and willingness to share and I look forward some additional insight. Blessings on you all for your work, on either side of the room. Katieshouse.
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