EMDR FORUM ARCHIVE, 2000
Re:non-traumatic splits and EMDR
Imperfect · 12/21/02 at 3:28 PM ET
You clearly presented the concepts. There is often an emphasis on "the child creates an ego state..." It may also be helpful to view it as the child is strongly conditioned. The example: Daddy loves me/Daddy hurts me. The "/" barriers above can be in part the separateness demanded by the trauma agent ("Daddy"). Typically trauma agents demand during varying cycles absolutely no indication of some other qualities of the person. There can be intense physical and mental punishments until the children are completely without even the subtlest signs of certain ego states unless the abusers elicit it. For example, "Daddy" may only show love to the "good girl," then without reason punish her until she displays only "worthless" behaviors. The trauma agents rigorously demand that there be no integration that matches their own "splitting." The control attempts to stop all behavioral evidence of specific types of performance demands and abuses. The trauma agents may also seek to prevent successful therapy and integration. The separate ego-states or identities requirements are reinforced with various triggers such as times, locations, circumstances, clothes, nuances, and nicknames. Psychotherapy attempts to encourage individuals to recognize feelings such as anger and yet not to waste too much time blaming. Though it may be helpful to realize that children had very few choices and can learn not to be burdened by guilt, shame, and endless efforts to “please” others who may want to exploit them, will never be satisfied, and may attempt to prevent their recovery. Others’ created barriers to integration may be a contributor to the disparate ego states as well as the self-protective mechanism that blocks awareness of associated traumas.
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"I'm a good girl/I'm worthless"
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