Re:Complex PTSD & EMDR

Thank you for responding to my post. It is always nice to connect with others who are experiencing similar things as oneself. I think I have figured out that in dealing with my 18 y.o.'s behavior last year, she created a certain stress level in the household and that is a trigger for me. Now my 14 y.o. has had a couple teen issues but he does not create anywhere near the stressful atmosphere in the home afterward. This was one small part of the abusive childhood I am just now dealing with - my father creating a constant stressful atmosphere in the home.

On one hand, part of me thinks - oh here we go again and waiting for the next crisis while the other part is trying to tell me that the 14 y.o. may make his mistakes but is more accepting of the responsibility of his actions (at least he is so far - lol).

I can and do also deal with the everyday stressors but feel sooooo anxious. I am on Serzone - 1/2 the dose originally prescribed. I may increase it back to full dose and see if that helps. I will check with my doc first.

As far as EMDR goes, it took a while to get it working for me - like the theratapers work better than music or tones because I listen to music to dissociate but I didn't realize that at first. I find dissociation so fascinating because now I can catch myself doing it sometimes.

I am going to make a determined effort to not "think" too much. I feel like discovering so many things has made feel different about who I am and that makes me think alot. What I mean is that I thought I behaved one way because it was just part of my personality when now I realize I learned that behavior out of survival. My T will tell me what difference does it make - it's still a good quality, but somehow it seems to make a difference to me until I accept it. All this is like seeing my childhood in reality for the first time.

Sorry about the rambling. Thanks for listening.

-J

Replies:

Re:Complex PTSD & EMDR, by another client, 11/08/02

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