Re: why get sick

Lyn, I'm sorry you had this painful experience. The only time I have heard of experiences like this is when the therapist didn't take enough preparatory steps before doing the EMDR, including creating a "safe place" and making sure you have a way to "contain" any strong emotions that emerge. Another key step is to make sure the right protocol is used, since some child abuse survivors have rather complicated inner worlds, and it is important to address any mixed emotions that may be present about proceeding and dealing with the emotions. For example, sometimes on the one hand a client wants to do the work, and on the other hand feels very young and scared, or very protective and angry, and that has to be taken into account. So the therapist has to check first and make sure that it is a unanimous vote, so to speak, before proceeding. After an emotionally difficult EMDR, it is necessary to take the time to contain the feelings again, put them "back where they normally wait", including whatever mixed emotions there may be. Finally, there are some helpful ways to water-down the intensity of the emotional pain during the EMDR (like seeing it through the window of a train, and watching scenery go by, or watching it on a screen, through dark glasses, with an imaginary hand on the control button to make it go faster or slower). This really helps for some survivors of child abuse. I'm listing these things here as much for the therapists reading as for you, since it is not your responsibility to know these things. I do want you to know there are ways to make it more tolerable, no matter how horrid the trauma.

I hope you find the courage to try EMDR again, and be sure to ask specifically to make sure that the therapist you work with has used EMDR many times with adult survivors of child abuse, and knows the preparatory steps. If you can convince yourself to do more work, even though it might be temporarily uncomfortable while it is happening, afterwards the feelings will be altered and more neutral. It will likely go pretty fast too.

Good luck, Lyn.

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