Re: dr pauldsen

Hi, Cindy, the person who replied before me was correct -- there have been significant technical difficulties preventing me from even seeing, let alone answering, your request. Even today, I can't see your question on the index, but I'd heard you were looking for me, and when I read your old messages, suddenly I could see your recent post. I don't know if this reply will post, or if you will be able to see it, as the problems haven't been solved yet. And I won't be going into each message to see if there are more messages visible ---it's just not working right now.

I think this technical difficulty makes it VERY clear why this forum is not a good place for people who are suffering to seek help. We just don't have the structure or the therapeutic relationship to be there the way you need.

And the person who responded before me was EXACTLY right to say that you should talk to your therapist about your fears and your concerns. If you have brought it up and felt it wasn't addressed seriously enough, maybe you could print out our discussion and what you said to me, and take those pages in to your therapist.

Though I can't give information tailored to your case and I don't know you, let me say a couple of things I would tell anyone, because they are generally true.

1) It is entirely normal for people who are working through their fears and memories to have mixed emotions about whether they even want to realize what feelings they have been hiding from themself, and to fear the consequences of knowing and/or telling. Tell your therapist that too.

2) If you are in a lot of pain between sessions, ask your therapist if there is anything you can do at the end of the sessions to better contain the feelings between sessions -- like "tucking in" the feelings using imagery.

3) You could be using self-relaxation procedures on your own between sessions too, reminding yourself to contain the feelings as best you can until the next session.

4) You need to be able to request the work to go slower if you are feeling overwhelmed. The challenge for your therapist is that it is normal for traumatized clients to have very ambivalent feelings -- one part of you may want to move ahead and another part of you be very reluctant, so it gets complicated. This is true for anyone - it is part of the human condition under trauma.

Good luck Cindy.

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