I am very sorry to hear you are struggling so. You are right that I can't provide clinical advice here. Not only that, but I do not have the breadth of referral knowledge to help you find the kind of experienced EMDR therapist that you want and deserve, but let me point you to those who do. The EMDR International Association has a data base of credentialed EMDR practitioners, and they are at www.emdria.org. A second organization, the EMDR Institute, uses a number of highly experienced EMDR practitioners to facilitate trainings, and may be able to give you names of those people in your area. They are at www.emdr.com. When you say "time is running out", I wonder if you are feeling suicidal. If you are, you must: tell your therapist and/or parents (whichever feels safest), and/or call suicide prevention or your local crisis team, or go to the emergency room if you feel you cannot control strong impulses. I am asking you to take those appropriate steps and trust that you will do so. Okay?
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