Re:serious impulse disorder

In addition to Stephan's response I have two additional suggestions:

First, it is fairly common for people to have the kind of problem you describe when they try to "control" their anger by suppressing it, ignoring it, or denying it. Unfortunately, most people find that when they try to ignore or deny a situation that aggravates them, they simply become more and more angry. Eventually, they are so angry that they explode over something small. Often, they then regret their "loss of control" and try even harder to suppress or deny their anger.

When this is the case, it can be useful to identify the cognitions which elicit the anger in the first place (such as "He has no right to ...") as well as any cognitions which justify an aggressive response (such as "He's asking for it!"). However, often it is even more valuable to help the individual learn that it is much easier for a person to handle anger appropriately if they notice the anger and deal with it before the anger becomes very intense. The individual may have fears or expectations which block them from handling mild anger in appropriate ways. If so, these will need to be addressed.

Second, if it really is an impulse control problem, it can be useful to think in terms of what one needs to control an impulse. In order to control an impulse, the individual must (1) notice the impulse before they act on it, (2) inhibit their "automatic" response long enough to choose whether to act on it or not, if they choose not to act on the automatic response they must (3) identify other ways to handle the impulse, (4) choose an alternative response, (5) put the alternative into practice, and (6) observe the results and decide whether to continue to use that alternative in the future. If you identife the points in this process where she has problems, it should help you intervene more effectively.

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