Re:Controling behavior and marital conflict

Sounds to me like your husband wants it both ways. Note, also, that when we change others don't like it because it forces change in them. In your decision to change the rules of behaviour between yourself and your husband required him to adjust and he does not seem to want to. To be honest, sounds like he is attempting to control - he wants you to be a certain way and no matter what you do you cannot please him.

Have you asked him exactly in what ways you are controlling, ways that he perceives you are controlling. Perhaps he can write you a letter which lists the ways/times he perceives you to be controlling and ways/times in which you are not. You can simply read this, see how it fits for you and decide if you can adjust in one area/way/time. He must be willing to then accept control if that is what is needed. Perhaps the word control is the wrong one. Is it decision making that is the problem? Is it respect for each others choices?

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