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Re:Dependent/Avoidant/Reactive
Stumped · 03/15/02 at 5:59 PM ET
Yes, in some respects, I have wanted to avoid having the client experience rejection or abandonment feelings. That's what she experienced in childhood from her parents. I don't want her to experience the therapeutic relationship as a reenactment of that. I can clearly see the need to stick to limits, but feel that perhaps limits should have been made clear from the beginning. Changing them midway caused the client confusion and insecurity. (A clinician mistake, though the patient feels responsible and is apologetic about "bothering me.") New boundaries have been explained and discussed now. The client has stuck to them 100 percent, although it has been difficult for her. She has viewed it as rejection or an attempt by me to "distance" from her. In fact, the client interpreted the new limit as extending even into a crisis situation, feeling she could never call again under any circumstance. We needed to discuss that a call in the event of a crisis is definitely still OK. I believe the only inconsistency has been in the area of boundary setting. Therapy with me has been 2 years - before that, the client saw another therapist briefly, but she moved, and the client was left feeling abandoned.
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