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Re:Dependent/Avoidant/Reactive
· 03/15/02 at 3:08 PM ET
It seems to me that you are making decisions out of fear that the client will feel rejected - accepting the two small gifts for that reason. "I don't want this person to feel rejected so I'll accept the gift" line of thinking. There is an issue in this for you - can you risk the client feeling rejected and handle that yourself. You are not responsible for your clients' feelings and reactions, do you feel responsible, is there some guilt on your part??? Have you discussed your reasons for setting boundaries with the client? Does the client understand that you have time limits, that you also deal with other people, that you have a life outside of your profession and so on? You only have so many hours in a day. Have you looked at how you use words, gestures to get your message across? Are you consistent? Have you considered allowing your client to borrow an object from your office which he/she can use to stay connected to you, that object constancy idea? Has the client been in therapy with you for two years or was there a previous therapist and if this is the case what was the client's experience.
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