Shame and BPD

Do you know where I can find information/discussion on the role of shame in boundary personality disorder? I am married to a BPD and she is obsessed with shame. Also, my psychologist believes that she purposely makes me lose my temper because she knows that I will be ashamed of my resulting behavior. Further, living with her for 5 years has trained me to experience shame (or guilt?) in reaction to perfectly normal events (such as receiving a post card from my daughter who my wife "hates?", or an old friend of whom my wife is "jealous?")

• A reference: by Don Nathanson, 3/2/98