The Space Between Us Is Shame

• Shame, PTSD, Behavioral Problems and Bonding by Sue, 11/9/96
  
  

Sue, I've done research on healing shame damage in relationship and how it affects attachment ("bonding") to others. I wrote this up in a pamphlet titled "The Space Between us is Shame: Steps for Healing Shame Damage in Relationships." Gershen Kaufman gave me positive support in his feedback. Nathanson never responded to me. I've not published the report other than as a pamphlet by our organization Work and Family Resources in San Francisco. My principal interest is in how men, because of enormous shame damage, are nearly incapable of establishing the nine characteristics of intimacy (also "relatedness") as described by Josselson in her book _The Space Between Us_. Josselson hardly considered shame, but she did note how men are genitally fixated. I describe how this happens for men in my paper and disagreed with Nathanson's views to some extent (may be why I did not hear from him). If you have questions, we can start a dialogue. What do you really want to know, more specifically, in your post? I've also done research on shame in the workplace where there is never any attachment. My book is _Work Abuse: How to Recongize It and Survive It_, published by Schenkman Books. Men are enormously shamed (shame each other endlessly) at work.

• More on PTSD by c.h., 11/14/96
• pamphlet by Don Nathanson, 11/21/96
  • Work Abuse Book Is a Survival Manual for Working People (and their therapists if they have one) by c.h., 11/22/96
    • note to c.h. by Don Nathanson, 11/30/96
      • Thanks for the Supportive Words by c.h., 12/2/96
        • c.h.'s E-mail Address Change for Communication on Work Abuse Issues by c.h., 12/28/96