Re:Grief and EMDR - is it ever too soon?

Objectively, seven weeks is not a long time to grieve the loss of a dear husband. Subjectively it can be an eternity. There is no rule of thumb regarding how long to grieve. The sage advice of "let yourself feel" is fine as long as it works. The problem as you describe it is the conflict you are in. That in and of itself can stall the grieving process. The fact that you were put in a position where you experienced a panic attack is not good. For that reason alone I would suggest getting some help.

I would suggest that you see a fully trained EMDR clinician who is comfortable with your problem. Applying EMDR to the memories of your loved one would not cause you to lose your emotions. They would allow you to feel them in a safe environment and hopefully in a way that would facilitate your healing. You might want to take a look at my book "EMDR" which has a chapter on grief. Roger Solomon has also written some articles on the use of EMDR and the grief process. As far as we can tell, time is not a consideration in the use of EMDR and grief. There is no evidence that you will lose anything you need to have.

My best wishes for a gentle healing.

Replies:

Re:Grief and EMDR - is it ever too soon?, by Alexey Terekhov, 11/28/99 Re:Grief and EMDR - is it ever too soon?, by Fairchild, 4/2/00

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