Re: to praise or not to praise

If we lay a foundation of security through acceptance and affection, we can help children progressively build self-esteem by encouraging them to overcome real and felt difficulties. We can question them, Socratically, about their estimations of abilities and difficulties, as well as the results of their efforts. Diplomatically, we can lead them, through a series of questions to evaluate their goals, efforts, and results more realistically. Genuine self-esteem comes from a felt ability to deal with life's challenges. For a child, there is no better way to build self-esteem than to struggle with difficulties and overcome them. A wise adult will stay in the background, ready to offer encouragement, support, or challenge when needed, and then guide the child to a realistic self-evaluation. Praise is often a short-cut that can foster a dependency on external opinions and approval.

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