Re:It's A Small World!

I had many different experiences too numerous to list, but I can give a few examples. One day at the end of hatha yoga class, sitting upright on the floor, our teacher told us to imagine that we were a lotus flower. When I did this to my surprise "I" actually became the lotus for a brief period of time. "I" felt myself bouncing up and down in the water in the sunshine with pristine white petals with water droplets all over me. I was so surprised by this I opened my eyes and looked at the floor to see if I was actually bouncing up and down, but I was just sitting on my cushion in a meditative position.

Another time lying flat on the floor doing breathing exercises at the end of hatha yoga class, a very powerful body sensation came over me. It felt like the left half of my body was withered and contracted, as if I was hemiplegic. The right side felt very overdeveloped and extended. I was so surprised that I opened my eyes to look at my body to see if the left half was actualy curled up, but I was just lying flat on the floor as I had started.

Years ago I had an out of body experience that was very informative, although I did not know what to do with it at the time and just kept the information to myself. During the spiritual emergency period I had two separate instances of waking up in the middle of the night with notable pressure in my lower abdomen. Before I even could wake up to know what was happening "I" found myself with my consciousness gathered and ascending in the central channel (the path up and out of the body). "I" instantaneously knew exactly where "I" was because of this prior out of body experience. I did not leave my body on these two occurrences, but I sure found my way to a spiritual/transpersonal therapist as fast as I could.

Once in a class I took at UCSD Extension, I met up with another nurse who had taken the same meditation class I had just finished at the school. She immediately began to tell me she began to freak out in class because she felt herself trying to leave her body. The instructor tried to talk to her about it, but she was not open to his inervention at the time. The point being here that these practices can bring on very powerful experiences in some people and it is difficult for many to know what is going on and where to go for help. For many there is no "language" for this stuff.

How has my life changed? In the midst of the spiritual emergency I lived with one foot in one world and one foot in another, and it took everything I had to keep each straight in my mind, which was badly battered with the most intense psychic pain I have ever known. I recognized that I was not dying, but that my ego was, and I tried to ride the whole thing out for many extenuating reasons. So I am not that person that I was before, even though to many people I may appear to be. There has been a vast inner redirection in my life. I do not observe the world and its circumstances in the same manner as before. I am very attuned to the fact that this world constitutes a cyclic existence and there will never be any lasting satisfaction found here. I am very aware of the intense suffering in this world and my helplessness in trying to mitigate any of it including my own. I am not outer directed; Iam inner directed because the only way I can contribute to the world is to heal myself first.

How do I want it to be different? I need to learn to live in the here and now because that is the path to healing and why I am intersted, but leary, of meditation. Meditation is mind training for the here and now. The here and now is reality, which I am not too fond of, or I would not have been prone to the spiritual emergency eruption. My goal is to turn the spiritual emergency into a spiritual emergence. This is a long process. I am finishing year five and have the rest of my life to go.

Replies:

Re:It's A Small World!, by Meditator, 07/18/02 Re:It's A Small World!, by mandala, 09/19/02 Re:It's A Small World!, by Meditator, 09/24/02

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