What's up doc ?!

Hi there,

So I am wondering how many (I is one) have posted in this forum under their real name, and also under other names or handles, and how many do it often (not I)in THIS forum?

I also wonder if perhaps anybody has replied to their own postings under a different name? Wild eh?

I ask more in jest than for any serious admissions. It fascinates me that we just don't know in general who we are really connecting with. Perhaps that unknown aspect of this forum hinders deeper involvement and participation as a more closely knit core group.

In the work I facilitate with substance addicted person's , we can only reach productive and healthy group dynamics by satisfying our natural need to know ourselves by knowing each other. Of course we are motivated to do so cuzz we are in therapy to overcome life and death challenges in the addiction/recovery process, so the choice is straightforward. Even so, addicted persons in ftf encounters are highly resistant to give themselves to the group effort and form a community of common fellowship.

In ftf groups some facts are just taken for granted(from the five senses) so the resistance is more a matter of routine and can be addressed with realtime approaches. Deeper resistances come to group awareness once the routine has been exhausted and deeper dynamics can then follow into play. Things get more personal and more creative. Things get more real. More real.

This is the crux of a paradox for me. I like this forum. It is a healthy place. On one hand I enjoy the routines but on the other hand I "feel" like I "should" stay with the routines, and not venture to far out. Now these are my feelings, and in no way am I making statements about the forum itself. Things are as they are and no problem with that. What I am getting at here is that there seems to be a glass ceiling of "proper postings" and I was kinda wondering if this quality is generally felt in cyberspace forums or am I simply talking about myself here.

I find it a bit of a frustration that even when highly motivating energies are apparent in many posts, generally few responses cultivate those energies into deeper community involvement. John Suler does a fine job attending to growth of course, and the rest of us do our bit, but I just can't get over how unsubstantial the "realness" of cyberspace is compared to ftf life. Many times I want to respond to postings I "feel" for, but I hold back cuzz I seem to have way too much energy that I can't make fit into the nice little areas under the glass ceiling. I have already spoke my mind on this forum, and it went well and the forum treated me well, but I feel like a bit of a singularity now since doing so.

Still, I am as guilty as the next guy of course, and I have decided to post about this glass ceiling I sense. Does anybody else have any comments about the glass ceiling conflicting and impeading the manifestation of ongoing deeper dynamics?

Maybe a person has to have a certain personality to achieve a satisfying balance that makes cyberspace so attractive relative to ftf. I feel like a bit of a weirdo saying that ftf is soooo much better than cyberspace. I can hardly believe that anybody could honestly think that cyberspace can even be compared to real life. It's like comparing swimming in a bathtub (cyberspace) and swimming in an ocean (ftf). A lot more "life" is happening in an ocean. A person can drown in both so both can be fatal, but at least the ocean is worth the risk. Perhaps cyberspace is really just a more safe place to be if you don't want to be dynamically your full self. I find cyberspace to be a growing home for the homeless as much as anything else and I suppose that is a good thing, or could be a good thing. Could also be a bad thing a generation or so from now when people rely more on their cyberspace skills than ftf skills. For instance, I have not edited this message before posting, just like ya can't in real life. How many of us edited to death our posts before posting (me included just not this one this time)

So whadda ya think?

• intimacy in cyberspace by John, 2/19/99
• Re: What's up, doc? by Tatiana Matveeva (Inity), 2/19/99