Margeurita: ADHD False Advertising?

• ADHD, Nintendo, and Evolutionary Psychology (1) by Jim Brody, 2/26/97
  
  

Symons-Buss standards for female attractiveness include an hour-glass shape, a lively manner, and impulse delay in sexual relations. Symmetrical features and clear skin also help. There is a corresponding list for males that include physical health, financial resources, and emotional stability. The guy's ability to wait, to invest in a specific female also seems to increase his attractiveness to her.

These are thought to be important foundations for successfully starting a child, including the requirement that the relationship be maintained during the female's impaired functioning during pregnancy as well as during the first 4 or 5 years of the child's life when he is highly dependent.

Mania, considered with respect to its possible evolutionary foundations, comes to play. Liveliness is an attractive feature in both men and women. Determination is attractive, and determination to acquire influence and resources is highly attractive. So far, the manics, especially the "subclinical variety" have a mating advantage over the more sluggish, the sickly, the timid, and perhaps the asymmetrical.

ADHD folks are also lively but tend to lose if other comparisons for stability and resources are considered. Their preliminary display of liveliness is misleading. Margeurita is lovely and immediately draws attention where she waits tables at a local restaurant. Big brown eyes, tossed hair, and in my son's opinion as well as the other males surveyed, has the best legs in the place, perhaps in the town. However, she is a little clumsy, dropping the broom when cleaning up late in the evening. She talks to customers at several tables at once (likely contributing to her dropping things). Her head bobs more than the other young women, perhaps because she has a slight toe walk. She seems a little immature given that she's in her late 20's, nearly a decade older than most of the other staff. She's also known for quick changes in her moods, from baseline to rage and back very quickly. Despite all of her assets, her quickness, and her openness, she can't quite keep a guy or attracts only those who share her features. Fortunately, her own "loser detectors" kick in pretty quickly and she bounces men out if they have her volatile moods or are not achieving financial independence.

Life is about life, it's not about being fair. I'm offended that a manic personality, a domineering, controlling male or female has a far greater chance of finding a partnership than Margeurita. Being infatuated usually elevates difficult moods. Defiant, selfish people become thoughtful and considerate for a while. Relatives rave about the shift. The unsuspecting candidate (perhaps a little grandiose themself) takes credit for the improvement, assumes it to be permanent, and perhaps sees the change as supernatural evidence that the relationship is fated.

The children usually benefit from life's rules. Determined parents may often have determined, manipulative children. Ones that cheat at card games when 3 years old, who fight the car seat without reservation, who physically attack their older siblings, and who may often show a lot of separation anxiety. I know determined mothers who idolize their little alphas ... buying the best sneakers on a limited family income or ensuring that the latest play station is available. These mothers fight with teachers and principals to assure a more than equal chance for their child. Mom's also fight with domineering Dads, taking the child's side in power struggles. It sometimes requires years and a bit of therapy to convince mom that she must form an alliance that includes the school staff if she is to get her child to stop abusing her and to complete his work even for teachers he doesn't like. (1)

Thus, it makes some evolutionary sense that Margeurita is less successful, betraying her nature early in relationships. Because she is a bit unusual and won't accept a male with her own characteristics, then her lack of persistence, her unpredictability tilt the odds towards a delayed pregnancy or perhaps an unusually determined partner (perhaps a little manic or perhaps with fewer choices himself?) who will compensate for some of her missing consistency. Still, she's a nice kid who likely has the self-monitoring deficits common with ADHD; thus, she may have little awareness about what is happening to her life. (2)

NOTES:

1) Suomi S (1996) "Nonverbal communication in nonhuman primates" (In Segerstrale S & Molnar P (eds) Nonverbal communication: Where nature meets culture. Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum) mentions his observations that "high reactive" monkeys often are socially precocious and rise to the top of their group's dominance hierarchy when reared by unusually nurturant attachment figures. I guess the little terrorists may need the idolatry from mom so she teaches them to manipulate successfully as well as keeping the rest of us from killing them!

2) It would take substantial maneuvering to gain a position of trust, to hear her admit that she's a bit impulsive or has a short attention span, and to plant the suggestion that she talk to her physician about a stimulant and that she read some things about adult ADHD. I mourn that I can do so little. However, my own grandiosity that "these eyes see" gets me into quandaries that may not exist.

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