Hello! A Few Observations

I've been reading all the posts in this forum, and thought I'd share some more thoughts. My first introduction to 'cyberspace' was in an interfaith chat room called "The Front Porch", and as I developed relationships and found myself increasingly drawn to it each day, I too became entralled by what was happening. First, there was the novelty. Secondly, there is no question in my mind that the facelessness, the anonymity does give a sense of freedom-as well as easy escape. I think the character structure one brings to this makes a difference. I am not a person who likes confrontation and anger, so unlike many people I've met online, the "freedom" did not create an 'alter' ego for me. I think the ability to actively construct who the person is (to whom you're speaking) has its own fascination (a lot like the way another generation used 'radio'). There is something intensely narcissistic about this process. Little surprise that onlone romances in 'real' life so frequently fail- our own wish fulfillments really get in the way. I'm also reminded of a time when I had a blind person as a patient and I remember the odd feeling of freedom, when once again the visual modality was not part of the interplay (the idea that I could not be seen anyway!). Also the idea that the auditory modality is eliminated as well, creates an intense inner focus on one's own thoughts, beliefs and attitudes-- ones inner voice. I think in some way we also construct how the other person "sounds". Relationships become so strong, I think, because it is "I" who is doing so much of the construction. It would fascinating to be privy to ones inner thoughts as they begin the process of 'constructing' the other person. I hope this is not too obtuse! Anyway!----hello to you all!

• tranference and representational world by John Suler, 3/23/98
• re: Hello! A Few Observations by Phil Farber, 3/27/98