Lurkers

• Hi there lurkers! by John Suler, 7/26/97
  
  

Hello Dr. Suler..I'd like to thank you for facilitating this on-line discussion. I shall continue to follow with great interest.

I think that I can speak for many of the 'lurkers' out there in saying that the usage of the '$10' words and terms keep some from expressing their opinions on your pages due to an intimidation factor. (This isn't an admonishment, merely a statement of my opinion on the matter) I hope that my stepping forward will encourage others who have questions for you or opinions that they have been too intimidated to express to do so....

You're invitation to 'de-lurk' is most welcome and I thank you...I've read with an avid interest the statements and theories that have been expressed here, and the relation to our 'net-selves' and Jungian shadows was most intriguing and shall bear some further thought.

I, myself enjoy my anonimity on the internet and have come to feel that it is an almost different person speaking through me in cyberspace than people would meet in the 'real world' this is partly because my on-line persona as a Wolf. The Wolf allows me to be different than I am in the 'real world'. He is more outgoing and gregarious than I am...and I must say that he is a welcome part of my personality and I'm hoping that some of him will rub off on me. (I realize that at this point many of the therapists and counsellors out there will be cackling with glee to see such an obvious case of personality segmentation step forward. ;))

But, before they get too excited I'd like to state that I am a professional social worker, and the internet allows me to release the daily stresses of a care-giver, an outlet that many have failed to find, resulting in their 'burn-out' as their tensions pile up and overwhelm them. When I log into my favourite chat and let out the Wolf's first Hhoooowwll! I can feel the stresses and anxiety slip away for a time, and I re-emerge feeling refreshed and ready to face the world and it's myriad of problems again.

I also disagree somewhat with some of the statements that I've read giving a figure of a 10% effective communication rate to online chatting....I have found that this may be the case initially with persons who are not familliar with the methods of communication in this medium, and that as they progress a form of 'etiquette' is either garnered by them, or they become bored or frustrated at the communication methods and leave never to be seen again. The persons who are seen on their favourite chat servers regularly are the one's who have mastered the 'net talk' and can communicate effectively, and often have large followings of 'cyber-friends'. That is not to say that misunderstandings cannot develop with the proficient chatters, as new chatters often can cause them difficulty in a short time..they can however trust their long term friends to understand and accept the circumstances of the difficulty and to be supportive in these times. That is the true nature of this thing we call the internet.....information shared...and friendship shared regardless of geographical location.

As I see it anyway.

• In Agreement with Timberwolf by TGH, 7/30/97