June, do you know why you are afraid for your therapist to watch you during the EMDR session? Perhaps it relates in some way to your trauma. If you are able to identify the reason for the fear, this may open the way for you to try EMDR.
There's a support chat online for people who are currently using EMDR or who are considering it. We share information with one another, what's worked, what hasn't, what to expect during an EMDR session, what to expect between sessions,etc. The chat is not facilitated by a professional therapist. It's strictly members helping one another by providing encouragement and support.
Kay